Tuesday, April 5, 2011

5AM - Well... I woke up in panic a few times last night!

I had a feeling I might... It's getting to be that "special" time of the month again, with a wonderful spike of hormones!  I was watching the show Baggage... I'm addicted... and after it was over I started to feel a bit distant... sooo... I 'bated and fell asleep.  But in the middle of the night I woke up freaking out and had a bit of trouble calming myself down.  Now I just woke up fifteen minutes ago and shook most of my morning panic off... I hate this. 

Ok... I know this is absolutely irrational, but I have to tell you guys... Last June I was scratched / perhaps bitten by a stray cat.  I went to the doctor, she gave me antibiotics...  she didn't even think about the possibility of rabies...  Which I've been terrified of ever since I was bitten by my Totoro cat, when he was a kitten I picked him up off the road.  The doctor I saw back then told me that if the cat was rabid he would have died within 7-10 days...  Apparently animals can only transmit rabies when it starts to kill them, it remains dormant during the incubation time.  So this cat that bit me last June disappeared for like a month... that whole time I'm wondering if it had rabies and in turn if I had rabies... a month later it came back meowing like usual, stayed for a few days, then left again.  So I really don't think I have rabies, but when I started having panic I think "What if rabies is causing this? Am I going to die?" .  I guess I just need a doctor to tell me again that I will be fine... that usually puts my mind at ease - having a professional tell me that nothing is wrong. 

But in good news, I'm getting really excited about my Germany trip.  I still seems surreal.  But I'm now making lists and such for my trip - that takes my mind off things for awhile.  I just hope my panic and DP is gone by then.

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