17AM - Introduction Part 2

Well... Where to begin?  I live with my wonderful fiance Garrett and five cats - Darth Vader, Slayer, Ninja, Totoro, and Kyuubi. 

Kyuubi

Darth Vader

Ninja

Slayer

Totoro

I met Garrett over five years ago while snowboarding and we've been living together for almost three years now.  He FINALLY proposed to me last August in The Outer Banks, North Carolina (one of my favorite places in the world!).  I'm in my second year of university and I finally have settled on a major - I know it's the right path for me - Geology.  I have learned so much about our world and the processes that shape it, but I've also learned how we have screwed a bunch of things up...  Which I will get to eventually, I'm eager to share my findings with you.  I plan on going to  Germany next year to study, as I have been learning german for... about 9 years now.  I have everything to live for.

But for the past year, I've been in my own living hell.  I have developed anxiety and panic disorders.  Maybe throw in a little depression.  And most recently (about a month or two ago) I have been having anxiety related depersonalization - I'll refer to this as "DP" from now on.  For those who have never experienced DP, it's quite difficult to explain, but I'll give my best shot.

DP is the feeling of being detached or alienated from one's own body. 
You might feel like you're watching your own life as if it were a film. 
You feel spaced out., not all the way there.
You feel like you are just going through the motions.

The list goes on and on...  My anxiety symptoms used to be just things such as nausea, tight chest - hard to breathe, my heart will race... But as of about two months ago, I started feeling these DP symptoms.  Before I could handle the nausea and difficulty breathing... but these new symptoms scared me.  I went to my doctor, he prescribed me Zoloft, which I took for about 5 days before I decided that drugs were not for me.  I had bad side effects and I am not the type of person to rely on drugs to fix anything, but I was so scared by these new symptoms that I was desparate to get rid of them, I would have done anything to get them to go away.  After I was off the drug, I decided that I wanted to try therapy.  Fast forward about five weeks... and here we are. 

I have changed my lifestyle to try to get back to "normal".  I just started taking my vitamins again, I'm taking fish oil, exercising - I start karate next week, getting out more - socializing, eating healthy... I'm doing everything I can think of.  I'll keep you updated on my progess... I hope to cure myself and inspire others to change their lives too.  Wish me luck!