Thursday, March 31, 2011

31AM - Vivid Dreams

I feel lately (the last few months) that my dreams have been strangely real feeling, and when I wake up, it's like - Wow, so that was just a dream...  Ofcoarse by that time, I also realize that flying gorillas don't exist, but my dream seemed oh-so-real!  I sometimes feel more comfortable in my dreams or just imagining things than acutally being out in the real world.  I don't know when this happened, but I will change it. 

And to top things off, it snowed yesterday...  It's supposed to be spring, and it snowed...   :(   As a snowboarder, I do enjoy snow, but I'm done for the season - I'm ready for warmer temperatures and all the green. 

Oh!  I also finally didn't put up with my fiance's father's drunken bullshit.  He went to the doctor yesterday because his feet are PURPLE - because of his drinking. So we went down to their house a little before his dad was due home to ask how things went.  His dad finally came home... nearly two hours later and wouldn't say a thing about what the doctor really said; he just kept laughing and giggling - pretending it was all a big joke.  This infuriated me because a huge part of my anxiety comes from his drunken bullshit and worrying about his health.  I finally told him that I wasn't going to waste my time caring about him if he didn't care about me.  He continues to drain our family finacially and emotionally.  I'm done.  I can't let him keep creating stress in my life and letting myself deteriorate because of him. 

Onward, to the next phase in my life!

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